Hope is the thing with feathers
by MyDearGoddessofthemoonandsun
Summary: Marinette finally manages to work up the nerve to confess to Adrien but unfortunately things don't end up going as she hoped. Luckily Tikki and her family are there to help her get back up.


"'Hope' is the thing with feathers  
That perches in the soul  
And sings the tune without the words  
And never stops at all."  
― Emily Dickinson

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Pain pierced her heart as green eyes filled with sadness and regret. Blinking back the tears, Marinette took a deep calming breath; she always knew that this was a possibility, that Adrien might not like her back. It was why she had put off confessing to him through all of their high school years, no matter how often she fantasized it. Fantasy and reality are two separate things after all.

"You are an amazing girl Marinette, and really talented and funny and cute...but I...I like someone else. So I'm really sorry, but I can't return your feelings."

His voice seemed so distant, like her head was underwater and she was just barely hearing what he was saying. She couldn't look away from the sight of Adrien's face becoming filled with such despair. He was really hurt about rejecting her wasn't he? Even when breaking her heart he's being perfect. This is so unfair. She never meant to hurt him like this. She just wanted him to be happy. To make him happy, and be happy with him.

"You have every right to hate me after this, so I won't hold it against you if you never want to speak to me a-"

"Stop. Adrien." She started. "Please. I get it." She took a deep breath and forced a smile. "It's okay. You don't have to beat yourself up for not liking me." Swallowing a sob, she softly whispered, "It's not a crime to not return someone's feelings."

Glancing towards the gate, where she could just see her house, Marinette looked back at a remorseful Adrien. Taking another breath, she pushed her gift into his hands.

 _'Deep breaths Marinette, you can get through this. You are an adult, so don't cry. Whatever you do, do **not** cry in front of Adrien.'_

"I know you don't like me... **that** way, and I know this sounds super selfish to ask, but please...please, will you accept this gift I made for you? I won't misunderstand if you do accept it. Think of it as a gift between… **friends**."

"Marinette..."

She couldn't stand those sad eyes looking at her like that. Even if he didn't like her like she wished, she had still worked really hard on this gift. If he didn't accept it, she would probably burn it or throw it away.

"Please Adrien. Just accept this gift."

A resigned look passed his face, and for one terrifying moment Marinette thought he might shove her gift back at her, but no. His hands tightened their grip on the light blue wrapping paper, the crinkling noise echoing in the empty park.

"Thank you Marinette, and I'm sorry."

"Your welcome Adrien, and I know."

They stared at each other for a few awkward seconds before both turning away and walking off in separate directions. Marinette couldn't manage to muffle completely the little shaky heartbroken sob, causing the blonde boy to pause and flinch. Both left the park feeling like they had lost something precious and deeply regretting hurting the other.

* * *

Reaching her room in a daze, Marinette looked at her wall collection of Adrien photos. Some where from magazines but others were group photos over the years at school. As she stared at the center photo of her and Adrien posing together, her vision got increasingly blurry. Hot tears streaked down her face, hitting the ground in loud splats. The numbness was finally receding and the situation was sinking in, she had been rejected. Adrien did not lover her, nor did he want to try. Her breathing began to pick up and choked sobs started to fill the room. A burst of sadness and tears seemed to be gushing out of her and right now all she wanted was to erase every image of Adrien Agreste from her room.

Reaching out with trembling hands, she pulled them off the wall and dropped them on the floor. As she searched her room for any photos she had missed, Marinette vaguely noted that Tikki was saying something but honestly she couldn't muster the strength to focus on her partner at the moment. Dumping the photos into her garbage can, she reached out to her sketchbook and began to flip through the pages where all of her Adrien based designs were. Tears staining the pages, Marinette carefully ripped them from the book before crumpling into balls. Her large calendar with Adrien's schedule was carefully removed before she absentmindedly started ripping it into little pieces. Throwing them halfheartedly towards the same direction as the garbage-can, she finally gave up standing and collapsed onto the ground, hands covering her face. She was at home, no one else was at home and Adrien wasn't here. Her soft sobs began to grow in volume, as she curled into herself. A small part of her was disgusted at herself, at her tears and her weakness. The rest of her felt tired, embarrassed and just plain sad.

Digging her fingers into her face, Marinette sobbed out all of her insecurities and self-critiques.

"I'm s-so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, **stupid!** " Images of Adrien's sad eyes and uncomfortably regretful demeanor flashed before her eyes.

"I knew it. Of c-course he wouldn't w-want to d-date me. **Me** , the s-stuttering class klutz, who can never get a-anything done right without using L-ladybug's powers and has t-the worst of l-luck regarding a-anything important." Her nails scratched her forehead a bit, as she put more pressure on her face.

"In f-fact it's p-practically **laughable** that he ever decided to become my f-friend, let alone a-anything else. What could **I** ever h-hope to offer h-him?"

Marinette thought of all those years of just working up the nerve to talk to him like a normal person and finally becoming his friend. Now it was all ruined.

 _'And for what?'_ She thought bitterly, _'A failed love confession.'_

"He's so s-sweet and kind and amazing and I-I'm just the baker's daughter. The girl he l-loves is probably b-beautiful, successful and capable of g-giving him what he d-deserves for a girlfriend." She bit her lip at the thought of her student debts and how it's been years since she won the bowler hat competition. The first and only time a professional designer had complimented her work.

"I should consider myself to be so lucky that he even looked my way let alone-"

"Marinette, **stop**."

Flying over, Tikki gently began to, one at a time, pry of Marinette's fingers from her face, before gently tugging her hands away. Blue eyes met as they stared into each other's faces.

"Please don't say such things about yourself. You are **not** stupid and it's **not** laughable that he became your friend! You are especially **not** useless without Ladybug's power! You are exceptional as Marinette and a hero without the suit! You are definitely everything Adrien could ever want for a girlfriend and the fact that he hasn't realized this does **not** mean that you are lacking in anyway!"

Small hands gently patted her cheek, and a small warmth buried itself in the nook of her neck. Tikki was such a sweetheart.

"T-thank you T-Tikki. I'm s-sorry you have s-such a crybaby for a p-partner. I-I'm such a m-mess."

"Oh Marinette, I'm so sorry that Adrien rejected you. It's okay to cry and be sad like this. Your heart hurts, and no good ever comes from holding the pain in. I'm so proud you are my Ladybug. You are compassionate and wonderful. You can cry and be upset all you want, just know that I love you and I am here for you."

Marinette didn't know how long she laid on her floor crying, time seemed to blur as she let all the pain out. Suddenly Tikki shifted to give her a kiss on the cheek before flying off, perhaps to go get some cookies? Soft footsteps reached her ears, and the sound of her trap door opening slightly was almost lost in her sobs. Seconds passed before the trap door closed and the footsteps went away. Marinette tried to pick herself up from the floor, at the very least she should manage to reach her bed. As she slowly made her way to the stairs for her bed the trap door opened again and the smell of hot chocolate and freshly made croissants filled the room. Coming to a stop at the bottom of her stairs to her bed, two warm arms gently enfolded her.

"Oh honey I am so sorry."

"...Mom?"

"It's going to be okay Marinette. I promise."

Shifting in her embrace, Marinette leaned into her mom's hug. She was so feeling so washed out, who knew crying could exhaust her so much?

* * *

Cuddling in her lounge chair with her mom while eating croissants felt good. This was exactly what she needed after getting rejected by the love of her life and crying her heart out.

"I'm not going to ask what happened. I can see it's too soon for that." Relaxing as her mom ran her hands through her hair, Marinette nodded at that last remark. The pain was still too fresh for her right now.

"Just by looking around your room and how I found you, I **can** guess what happened." Watching her mom pass her another croissant, Marinette looked around her room and winced. There was a mess of shredded and crumpled balls of paper by her desk, while her garbage-can overflowed with pictures of Adrien. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was causing her pain.

"It's always hard to have your heart broken, but I think there is an extra special pain in having your heart rejected by a first love. You aren't as wise yet in dealing with such feelings and even though you might be expecting it anyway, it still hits you with a fierceness you never knew would be there." Taking a sip from her hot chocolate Marinette quietly listened to her mom's soothing voice.

"When I was a young girl, just about 13 years old, I fell in love. He was an older boy in my neighborhood who delivered the newspaper every Sunday. I was new to the area and felt self conscious about my looks, being from the only Chinese family on the block. The first time we met, I was getting the mail when he arrived to deliver the newspaper. I thought he was cute and managed to squeak out a soft hello. He gave me the biggest grin before telling me I had the cutest accent he had ever heard. That was the first time anyone had ever told me that they liked my accent. After that I began to look forward to every Sunday, waiting in excitement to see him and be able to talk to him for a bit."

Smiling a little at her mom's childhood love, Marinette thought that he sounded like a really nice guy.

"So what happened?"

Sighing softly Sabine hugged Marinette close, "Well, after two years of talking with him and slowly becoming friends, I finally worked up the courage to confess to him. I was so nervous and scared that day, but oddly excited too. As far as I could tell the day would either end in great bliss for me or in utter heartbreak. As I was waiting for him to arrive, I heard laughter coming from down the street. There he was smiling and grinning with another girl on his arm. I felt so confused, she wasn't someone from school or the neighborhood. When he spotted me his whole face lit up before he dragged the girl towards me. He walked right up to me and gestured to the girl next to him while saying, 'Sabine! Sabine! Meet Amélie! She's a girl from my class who's finally agreed to be my girlfriend.' "

Marinette winced at the thought of Adrien already having a girlfriend and presenting her in such a fashion. Soft laughter distracted her from the imaginary scenario.

"As you can imagine, I was crushed and if that wasn't bad enough the dummy had to turn around and present me to his new girlfriend too. 'Amélie this is my best friend Sabine, she's the little sister I never knew I wanted'. So not only had I failed in capturing his heart, I had been introduced to his girlfriend as his 'little sister'."

"Ouch. What did you do after that?"

"What could I do? I gave him the biggest smile I could muster and told his girlfriend I was so happy to meet her. I remember thinking that the worst thing about Amélie was that she was so darn nice. I could see exactly why he would fall for her, there was something about Amélie that made you want to smile and feel safe. Hmmm...now that I think about it, Amélie reminds me a lot of Ladybug."

Jerking to attention Marinette wondered how this Amélie could remind her mom of Ladybug?

"Ladybug?"

"Oh, not your Ladybug darling. The old Ladybug. The one that came before this one. She had blonde hair, brown eyes and was very tall. Looking back, Amélie had similar features too. Her manner was similar, the same confidence and the same ability to make people relax in her presence." Humming thoughtfully, Sabine's eyes lit up as a sudden realization hit her.

"Though... if Amélie reminded me of Ladybug then Lucas definitely reminded me of Chat Noir. They had the same kind of wit and excitable energy. In fact, Ladybug and Chat Noir came out officially as couple around that time too."

Marinette watched her mom stand up and gather their empty plates and mugs.

 _'Could_ _Amélie and Lucas have been the previous Ladybug and Chat Noir?'_

"Mom, I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"I won't deny that it hurt a lot, I think I cried for a couple of days before I felt ready to get to know Lucas's girlfriend properly. He was my first love, and quite frankly after him, I never thought I'd be able to love another man again. Who could compare to the wonderful, kind, silly Lucas and his beautiful heart melting smiles? It wasn't until I started university that I fell in love again."

"It took you that long to get over him?!" Horrified, Marinette began to imagine herself as an old biddy, forever in love with Adrien and unable to move on at all.

Giggling softly her mom put down the dirty dishes on a silver tray before turning to give her a big hug.

"No, it didn't take that long for me to get over him. I got over him after a couple of weeks of hanging out with him and Amélie." Gently grabbing Marinette's shoulders Sabine leaned down so there eyes where at the same height.

"After you get your heart broken for the first time, you become more wary of falling in love again. You get a little more guarded and make it a little more difficult for a person to woo you. I didn't let my guard down until I entered university and met Tom, your father. He is such a sweet man. His cooking and jokes made me lower my guard around him, and before I knew it I was in love once more. Except this time my feelings were returned."

Picking up the tray, she slowly made her way to the trap door before addressing Marinette again.

"Remember Marinette, your first love doesn't have to be your last one. You just have to be brave enough to let someone else in when you feel like you're ready."

* * *

A few minutes after her mom had left a soft knock came from her trap door.

"Come in."

"Knock-knock my little baguette. Your papa comes bearing warm fluffy blankets and some fresh baked tarts for later."

Her papa made his way to her lounge chair where he wrapped her up in freshly dried blankets and placed the tarts on a nearby space. Cuddling up to him, Marinette felt safe as he gently stroked her hair and hummed little songs under his breath. He didn't question why she was upset or even tried to threaten Adrien for breaking his little girl's heart. He just showed his support and love by being there for her.

"You know, when I was young I was teased horribly over my baking skills."

Shifting her head to give her papa attention, Marinette vaguely wondered if he was also going to tell her the story of his first love.

"It wasn't a very manly thing to do at the time and I was far better at it than all the girls in my class. If that wasn't bad enough, your papa was also the best in the class for sewing and making crafts, making me a complete outcast from the boys and seen as less of one by the girls."

Hugging her papa tight, she burrowed her head into his chest.

"I'm sorry that happened to you papa. You're the one who first inspired me to start sewing and designing things."

"Sabine and I are so proud of you, and how far you've come,. What with being the top student in your class and one of the best designers in the university." Cuddling Marinette, Tom gave her a big proud smile.

"I am now pretty proud of my sewing skills, but back then it was nothing but a shame for me. It didn't help that I was the tallest and largest guy in class, so everyone had been expecting me of being more of an athlete. Instead I was the big, shy guy who was the best baker in class and kept making his own apron and oven mitts."

"So what happened? Did you meet a girl?"

Marinette giggled as her papa nudged her and gave her a knowing look. Her parent's always seem to be on the same page when it comes to cheering her up.

"Yes, I met a girl. Even though she was the daughter of a rich family, she considered me to be her equal and her biggest rival in baking. She would declare everyday that her baking skills would someday be more amazing than mine. I thought she was so annoying at the time. Always challenging me to competitions and bringing up my skills in class and just everywhere really. I didn't understand why she kept making such a big deal over my baking, so one day I snapped and asked 'why can't you leave it alone? Why do you always have to remind people of how good my treats are and never just let it go?'. I remember the way she looked at me that day, her eyes were filled with fire and her gaze was strong and unwavering. She said, 'You have real talent in the kitchen Tom, and you don't seem to know this but when you bake your whole presence fills the room and leaves everyone in awe. I just want to see both you and your talent grow and get better, and if that means challenging you everyday then so be it.'"

"So did you fall in love with her then?"

"Who exactly is telling the story her, hm?"

Giving her papa a bashful grin, he chuckled and ruffled her hair, ignoring her squawks of protest at the action.

"Yes, I did fall in love with her after that day. Not just that but I also began to really enjoy and showing off my baking skills. We grew closer as friends but just before we graduated from highschool she got engaged to another man."

"What?!", baffled at the sudden turn the story took, Marinette stared incredulously at her papa's amused face.

"Oh yes. It was an arranged marriage between Ms. Éloïse Voclain and Gabriel Agreste."

"Oh my gosh! Adrien's father **married** your first love?!"

Marinette absently noted that was the first time she had managed to say his name aloud since she came back from the park. She was far too busy freaking over the fact that her papa used to be in love with **Adrien's mom**.

"Yes, yes. Your idol married my first love, small world no? Well she seemed happy when she told me about him; he had taken her out for dinner before and had always treated her with respect and care. She wasn't in love with him yet, he was too formal and distant to let her get close, but she had great hope that they would come to love each other through the years. How could I confess after hearing her say all of that? No, I decided to my feelings of her go quietly, no need to add unnecessary drama. I had crushes on other girls after Éloïse, but I never felt like I could claim I loved them. No, it wasn't till I met your mama in university when I really fell in love again."

Tom had a nostalgic, sweet look in his eyes as he looked at the ceiling. Marinette wondered if one day she too would get the same look her mom and papa have when they mention their first love. That one day she could look back at her feelings for Adrien and be able to smile and think of her confession fondly.

"Thank you for telling me this papa. I'm glad you and mom found each other."

Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, Tom smiled down at her.

"We both love you very much Marinette, and we couldn't be prouder at seeing what a strong, lovely young woman you have become. I just want you to know that it's okay if it takes you a while to move on. Moving on doesn't always mean you have to stop loving them, it just means you change how you love them. I know Éloïse was my dearest friend for many years after that day. She used to come by the store all the time when she was pregnant with her boy, claiming that she was craving my treats and no other would do. I was very upset when I found out she disappeared and attended her funeral when she was declared dead. What I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you keep loving Adrien, so long as that doesn't stop you from living your life to the fullest."

Giving her one last hug, he went back down stairs.

* * *

"You know what Tikki? I am really very lucky to have mom and papa as my parents."

"They are really awesome parents Marinette. You can see how much they love and support you everyday, and today just made it even more obvious."

Finishing up her tarts, Marinette looked through her bag for her phone. Pulling it out she noticed she had missed 15 calls from Alya and about 30 texts from both her and Nino. Scrolling to her bookmarks, she began to delete the links to Adrien's photoshoots and social media before stopping at the last one. Hesitating for a second, she opened the link and saw he had changed his display picture. Looking away from the camera, Adrien was sporting a new soft green open sweater. Her gift to him. A bittersweet smile crossed Marinette's face before she closed the browser and deleted the link. Finishing up her tart, Tikki stared at her friend with worried eyes.

"You going to be okay Marinette?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be okay. Now all I have to do is survive Alya and Nino's mollycoddling for the next couple of days and try not to make things too awkward with Adrien. Not to mention patrolling with Chat is going to be a challenge since he will probably notice something's wrong with me too and try in his own way to make me feel better. Other than that I think I'm going to eventually be alright."

Reaching down, she scooped up her kwami and planted a kiss on her head. She might have been rejected by Adrien and gotten her heart broken, but she was still loved by her family and friends. That's enough.


End file.
